ok i got home yest. after going far east with beanie+baby.
im sooooo sorry sista =/
i didnt spend alot of time with u on ur bdae somemore.
went to starbucks. did some cards there.
it was all fine i guess. at least i know.
sigh. though it said. its not that we cant be together.
but the fact that there would be troublemakers, negative psycho-ing.
it was alright i guess.
but i guess in the end of the day, it was my fault.
maybe if i dont look the way i am. her parents wouldnt dislike me.
but then again. sigh. i want her. i need her. yet i cant have.
then went to shop around.
cabbed home with beanie and her.
sent her back to school. she had magnum.
then went back with beanie.
got home. slept. the medication's making me real drowsy.
woke up. ate a bread. and went back to sleep again.
then sista messaged me. while i was really really drowsy.
she went like. 'bludder, i cant stop crying.'
i expected things like that to happen again. but not right after her bdae.
her mum ringed me up. and i headed over.
it breaks my heart lah. to see people i care for cry.
so i headed over. and found her at the playground.
life's really unfair isnt it. when i look at junfeng and beanie.
they could be together, there were minor obstacles.
which you could easily go through, if u put ur heart into it.
yet. they're giving up so easily.
saw beanie crying. i felt so helpless.
i tried to comfort her as she wept. really comfort her.
but there was nothing much i could say. she was willing to give up everything.
the problem wasnt on her side. and i had to deal with it later.
messaged duckie. i knew he was crying too. and sad.
but then again. why bother breaking up sia.
just work it out. and everything will be fine.
duckie came over. talked with beanie.
and for some reason. it started raining. right at the time.
when baby arrived.
i was feeling really drowsy. had problems walking around.
but it was fine. the rain woke me up alittle.
then duckie arrived. and i chatted with him.
about victor.
dude. tell me. who is more important.
what makes u happy?
why bother breaking up and giving up when u dont want it at all?
i aint saying ur way of thinking is wrong.
i wish the world had more people like you.
but then again. it is naive.
what's done is done. u should cherish her.
if victor was really such a great friend you should keep.
why would he show jealousy and set a trap for u to step on?
think man. think. u think far. but not far enough.
stop making urself seem so small.
u matter alot to her. and she matters alot to us.
if she did something wrong. like got together with another guy.
u broke up with her, nothing wrong. im on ur side.
but for a friend who isnt really such a friend.
he isnt ur cock sucking buddy, he isnt the one who cries with u.
why bother?
u know it took u 19 years to find a girl who can give u the feeling as the first.
why give up on a present when the gods placed it at ur doorstep?
u've wasted most of ur life, wandering and finding the right girl.
now u've found her. the exact same one. to give u butterflies in the stomach.
to make u forgo food, when u miss her.
dont throw it away now. u never know how long more it'll take u to find another.
i wished as hell i was in ur situation.
but eventually, my situation previously was the same as yours.
dont give up. and i wish the both of u all the best.
i guess saying how much i love her doesnt matter anymore.
she's fighting harder than me.
getting humiliated more than me.
eventually i wouldnt know. because all i could do was pray.
beanie. u crying. reminded me about how i hugged her while she cried.
in the end of the day, i guess i talked duckie around.
just look at things logically. and with a coolhead. u'll be fine.
u cant make the whole world happy dude. u're not that great.
but u can make people around you happy. at least die trying.
i've kept this all the while. when i was still with her.
just that word on her blog. made me happy.
its funny. when i can solve problems of others.
i cant handle my own.
.jpg)