life's good for now.

well. life is good for now. basically.
because temple's over. hopefully.
and im not gonna put so much effort into something again.
which has no meaning. at all.
not that i regret it. though i did learn alot.
but. in the end. the effort all came to nothing.
so basically. i need a plan in life.
any advice?
cause i suck when it comes to my own life.
well. not that u've heard of a surgeon being able to operate on himself.

its kinda sad.
when u think that friends understand u.
but in the end. it all comes to naught.
it was stunning. when one of them said.
its ok. u'll just forget her easily.
and u'll just find another one.
and that dude who said that.
i'd gladly help him any day.
weird isnt it?
maybe i could forget. and maybe i should.
because in that way. things would be so much easier for everyone.
but this situation right here. is what makes loving so god damned hard.
and its funny. when u know u're so near yet so far at the same time.
nobody. would ever get me crawling on hands and knees again.
so basically. just fcuk everything everywhere.
though. i dont blame anybody.
because. in the end the last decision always comes to urself.

its really easy to open ur mouth to say.
when things are that simple.
but not when u're leaving ur heart out in the open.
so now. im putting on the jester's frown.